TEOTWAWKI

For the past five years or so, I have been an avid reader of everything I could get my eyes on pertaining to prepping and self-sufficiency.   Everything from articles to books to blogs to forums to magazines.  Everything.

It would be difficult to provide a list of all the places I frequent because it grows daily.  I'm always finding something new (or somewhere new) to read and learn.

The more I learned, the more I realized how little I knew.  And the more I prepared, the more I realized how little I was prepared.  The more I stocked, the more I realized how little I had in stock.

As fascinating as it all was to me, I simply could not keep up with some people's provisions and suggestions.  I only thought I was avid.  I would never reach their level of autonomy and self-sufficiency.

I would never find the perfect hiding place.  I would never find the perfect, safe land.  I would never have three years of food in stock.  I would never have ten pistols, and thirteen rifles.  I would never have 1000 rounds of ammunition for each weapon.  I would never accrue the equipment and supplies and tools some of these people had.  Or the knowledge.  Or the skills.   

TEOTWAWKI (the-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it) was fast approaching, and I didn't feel fine.

I was doomed.  I was scared. 

Then it hit me:  I had become terribly concerned ... consumed, even ... about how to extend, preserve, protect, and sustain this human, physical life of mine.   

My life.  And my children's lives; my family's lives.

Consumed in fear, I had become a slave.

Me ... of little faith.

At one time I knew better.  Way better.  What changed? When did it change? And why?